


I wanted to laugh at trivial nonsense (I laughed at them)

by gulpereel



Category: Kamen Rider Build
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 05:03:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15065738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gulpereel/pseuds/gulpereel
Summary: A look at Utsumi over the course of the show with an Utsumi/Evolt tinge.





	I wanted to laugh at trivial nonsense (I laughed at them)

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for all of build basically even side stuff! I don't know what the fuck I wrote and I haven't had anyone edit it or anything so sorry if it's bad lol I just wanted to write a big Utsumi fic after all the Mad Rogue stuff.

When Utsumi first woke up, all he could was cough and choke on water still in his lungs. His vision was blurry, perhaps from water, tears or probably that he's lost his glasses but he could immediately recognise the red figure that stood above him.

A cold clawed hand helped move him into a better position to breathe, but from that he let out a pained noise as his shoulder reminded him that he'd been shot. Everything was too much then, he felt his body shivering and trembling as he struggled to stay conscious, he wondered if he was going to die for the second time that day and from that more tears flowed. It was frustrating, this pathetic feeling, this pain and disorientation--

Bloodstark pulled Utsumi closer then and Utsumi felt the cool metal of the others shoulder. He felt arms wrap around him, felt a hand hold the back of his head and suddenly all he could manage was to cry quietly - all panicked energy leaving his body at once, even if just for a few minutes.

"It hurts, doesn't it?"

Utsumi manages a small nod and closes his eyes, hears the sound of the stream behind them, the sounds of leather creaking ever so slightly as Bloodstark holds him closer. The hand behind his head is firm and he feels the sharp claws kiss his scalp ever so but it's something to focus on than his whole body screaming in pain.

"Remember this pain, Utsumi," Stark continues and the usually amused tone isn't there, "you'll get your revenge as long as you do as I say - not a bad deal, yeah?"

Utsumi blinks away a couple of tears as he tries to look up at the masked face - he feels so tired though and he gives up and just nods into the others shoulder. He's not quite sure what he's agreeing too really but he hears the word 'revenge' and it's appealing; his body hurts as much as his heart does but the ache lets the reality that he survived sink in.

As he drifts back into unconsciousness - barely lucid in his thoughts - he wonders if Bloodstark is his angel of life or just a merciful death god taking pity.

\---

Utsumi would be lying to himself if he said he didn't enjoy the look of surprise on Gentoku's face.

He sees how wide his eyes go, like seeing a ghost, but it's probably not far off the same feeling. Gentoku shot him, left him for dead, and here he's standing - it makes Utsumi smile to himself how flustered the other man becomes, trying to hide it through his words how unsettling the situation is for him. Souichi had told him how on edge Himuro had become lately and pushing the older man more towards the cliff end feels satisfying.

It's intoxicating even, the feeling of being superior to Gentoku then - this man knows nothing of the plans Bloodstark and Nanba have, knows nothing of his own future and probable downfall. He can't keep the smug smirk off his face as Gentoku raises his voice, then acts like a child as he calls in guards. The room falls silent after and Utsumi takes a deep breath, feels himself tremble ever so slightly in the adrenaline of the encounter.

"Feels good, doesn't it?" Souichi's voice calls out to him, coming through the door to the office with a small little smile on his face. For once the other isn't in the form of Bloodstark and it almost startles Utsumi for a split second, the other had been walking around transformed so much lately he was beginning to forget there was a human under all that.

"What does?" He replies back, feigning ignorance as he pushes his glasses up his nose. He opens up his pad then, to act as nonchalant as he possibly can though all he's doing is just tapping at the screen randomly.

"Don't be like that, Utsumi," there's a little sing song note to the way he says his name, "I told you to be more open with your feelings with me, yeah? I can tell you enjoyed that little display of power, it's cute in a way."

"I don't feel like 'cute' is exactly the right word there, Isurugi," Utsumi gives a small huff of breath like he's not finding the other man amusing but he's still struggling to work the adrenaline out of his system, struggling to keep the pleased expression off his face. "I merely told him the information he needed and controlled the situation."

"That's what's so good about it though, for you, the control," Isurugi stands in front of him like he'd teleported, his steps had been so quiet on the carpet, like a cat. He smiles down at Utsumi and he meets Souichi's eyes that look so much darker in the dim light of the office and there's something in the look that makes Utsumi feel another rush but in a different way. Maybe it's the pride he sees there, or maybe it's something else, something more akin to a snake looking at something of interest with hunger.

"I'm just doing what you're telling me to do, nothing more."

"And why exactly are you doing that?"

"For the sake of Nanba industries," he quickly replies, then pauses, licks his lips, "for the sake of revenge," he says more quietly, almost a whisper.

"The second part is more like it, Utsumi," the small smile shifts into a smirk and he's leaning down. A hand reaches over to take hold of the chair back behind Utsumi and he feels his body tense as Souichi brings his face just a few inches apart from his. "I want you to be selfish, you understand that, right?"

"I understand what you want, but not the reasons behind it," and it's the truth but it's not like anyone understands the reasons behind Bloodstark's actions as of late.

"Just trust me," and it's the most untrustful statement Isurugi has made yet but for some reason Utsumi doesn't care.

As the older man leans in for a kiss, Utsumi doesn't push him away. The smooth face against is own is unusual, so used to the feeling of Gentoku's facial hair these past few years, but it's not unpleasant.

He thinks about the look of hurt, of anger and betrayal he got as Gentoku was escorted out and the grip on his tablet becomes tighter.

\---

It's a random impulse that hits him as he looks upon the dishevelled and injured Himuro in the carpark, acting like a panicked animal desperately trying to find a place to lick it's wounds.

He points down at the ground and feels a shiver go through him - he can't help but think about all the times Gentoku had done something similar to him in the past and the reversal feels exciting. He thinks back to all the times he was called into the others office and with a smug expression Gentoku would point at the floor, raise an eyebrow and silently command him and without arguments he would kneel. It had been for the sake of Nanba, keeping Gentoku happy, at least that's what he told himself, had been for the sake of the attention Gentoku would give him afterwards, something he'd kept precious to himself at the time.

Now, he just feels resentment. Feels foolish even as he sees his past self in the Himuro begging on the floor beneath him.

Another impulse hits him and he stands on Gentoku's hand, feels himself dig his shoe into the soft flesh Utsumi knows well enough and he grins. The sound of pained cries echo through out the silent car park and Utsumi's eyes go dark as his licks his lips.

Earlier, Isurugi had told him what he had planned for the fallen Prime Minister.

"I'm going to make his life an absolute hell, for some reasons of course but," Isurugi said, "you're welcome to watch," he offered.

"I thought you liked him."

"Oh, I do, but sometimes I bully people I like and he's oh so bulliable, it's attractive honestly."

Utsumi digs his shoe in harder into Gentoku's hand and he can't help but agree.

\---

For some reason watching Gentoku get beat up continuously for days ended up making him feel angry instead of satisfied.

He wonders if he's just angry that Gentoku is still being allowed a purpose in Isurugi's game, or he's just angry over the comments Bloodstark had made the other day.

Gentoku the key to his emotions? Don't be ridiculous.

\---

When watching Gentoku transform into Rogue for the first time, Isurugi leans in and whispers in his ear.

"Excellent job, Utsumi, truly your finest work," and he sounds sincere for once.

The compliment makes him preen then and as he watches the deadly powers of Rogue in action, he feels like the deserves it. Katsuragi wouldn't have been able to make Rogue a reality, neither would have Sento - this is his own creation, his own testament as a scientist. He knew he was skilled but so far he'd only been tasked in recreating the technology Katsuragi had blue printed and Sento had made into reality. This time it's his own design and the love he has for Rogue isn't even deterred by who is wearing the suit.

A small part of him is smug even, that it's Gentoku - Himuro knows who created Rogue and now he's become dependant on it. As much as he was angry at the thought of it to begin with, perhaps it has a weird poetic vengeance to it.

"I'll let Nanba know how well you've done," and that too makes him happy. He looks at Bloodstark with a smile but then Gentoku bangs on the chained fence enclosing him and Isurugi is quick to head over to give the new rider attention.

Utsumi watches as Bloodstark mutters something to a detransformed Gentoku and he wishes he could hear what Isurugi is saying but also he doesn't. This is his moment, not Gentoku's and Isurugi's attention is his - he can only assume Bloodstark is praising Rogue and it makes a jealous impulse wash over him.

He wants to grab Isurugi and show Gentoku the type of affair they've been having while Genoku rotted underground these past few weeks. He wants to show how much he's moved on, wants to fuck Bloodstark on the cold, dirty ground in front of Himuro and wants to look dead into his eyes and drink up the response he'd get.

He doesn't do that, but he tells Souichi later his fantasy and the other laughs and he laughs with him.

\---

Bloodstark comes to him one evening with a particular request while Utsumi is working on the Hell Bros system.

"I want you to work with Sento on that Hazard Trigger issue he's been having."

Utsumi pauses in where he's looking on a computer and looks up at the other man, aimlessly wondering around the lab in the familiar red suit.

"Work with Sento...? I don't feel like he's going to exactly agree with that."

"No, he will, listen," Bloodstark points at him, "he doesn't think badly of you or anything, in fact I think you've left quite a positive impact the last time you uh, spoke. But, consider this, you're technically his enemy but you still respect him, right? That's just how it is between scientists, right?"

Utsumi goes quiet then.

Bloodstark hums a little then into the silence then speaks up yet again.

"Plus," Bloodstark stands in front of the computer on the other side of it, the green visor peers at Utsumi from over the top of the computer, "I don't think he's been sleeping well at all since the whole, ah, incident. I'd like you to check up on him too, maybe?"

Utsumi stays quiet still but the gears turn in his head stewing over the request.

Later that week, he's brewing Sento a cup of coffee and he feels a small little flutter in his heart as Sento calls his coffee delicious, something he's never really experienced in his life before beyond Gentoku's offhand comments.

He wonders at that moment if perhaps if things had gone differently, would he be standing by Sento's side instead of Nanba's?

No, he later decides after their experiment. He respects Sento as a scientist and the skills and vision he possesses but he feels like their motivations and drives are different. Or, well, he says different but he just doesn't understand Sento beyond the science and the technology they create but this had been the same with Katsuragi. Another difference with Seno too was just their level of trust of the people around him and Utsumi can't tell if he's jealous of such a thing or not.

When he inputs the stats for Hazard Trigger to be used for the matches, he realises he'd rather have no one by his side than to play the fool again.

\---

The biggest shift so far since Isurugi had rescued him was actually his proximity to Jūzaburō Nanba.

In the past, he'd merely reported to the older man here and there or relayed information between Nanba and Faust. Before that, Nanba had just been a figure in his life that was more like an icon, a symbol of his upbringing. Sure he'd interacted with the father like figure as a child in the Nanba Children orphanage but rarely was it more than a few words - Nanba mostly kept to himself or visited for speeches and the like.

Utsumi can remember the first time he'd seen Nanba actually and he remembers thinking it's not what he expected. He arrived at the Nanba Children institute at the age of 10 and within his first week there had been a welcoming speech for the new children - his first experience of seeing the man. In his mind, from the way the other children had talked about Nanba and the way the orphanage was run, he imagined a fairly middle aged, strong looking man in a suit or something similar. He'd been surprised at the old man that slowly went up onto the stage, clutching a cane, in such traditional clothes and smiling so openly at them. It had reminded Utsumi of more of like a grandfather figure and he suddenly felt less tense in the assembly setting - Nanba wasn't as scary as he'd pictured.

Utsumi's views had definitely changed since then, at least of recent times. Sure, Nanba had played the elderly father figure to him, to them all, but in the end he knows it's all part of the business of the Nanba empire. He doesn't resent that tough - he still is grateful for being taken in from another orphanage, being told that he's too smart to let his talents go to waste. He almost feels a little sick when he wonders what his life would've been like if not for the Nanba orphanage, if not for someone recognising his talents.

Just--

When he feels Nanba's hand squeezing his thigh as of late sitting next to him in the car, he silently stews in some thoughts he dares not speak.

\---

The planned matches were a bit of a roller coaster for Utsumi.

He'd been so confident - he'd perfected the data he'd gotten from the experiments conducted with Sento, had made sure Rogue's specs were perfect and made sure Gentoku was on the same page in terms of motivation. It was almost devastating then, when the careful preparations he'd made just crumbled in front of him like they were nothing, just mere error and warning messages now blinking on the screen in his hand.

He watches then as Sawa looks up at them at the camera and makes her final goodbye. He had known her briefly at the Nanba Children institute, had admired her from a distance in her abilities of spy work and the like but all that respect is suddenly lost within moments. He feels himself bit his lip as he tightly clutches at the tablet, half tempted to just throw the thing on the floor and stamp on it to make it shut up.

How dare she? The question keeps repeating in his mind. Is she stupid? Does she not know what she's done? What she's sacrificing? There's no real future in Sento's vision, only Nanba is going to lead the way and she gave up her spot and Utsumi can't wrap his head around it - she knew better than anyone among Sento's friends the strength of Nanba and she just chooses to defy it like it's nothing--

His internal rant is cut short by Bloodstark appearing and killing the Seito Prime Minister. He watches with a look of both curiosity and slight fear as he watches Midou turn into little purple particles and evaporate into nothing - he knows Isurugi kills but he'd never seen it in person before like this. As he watches Nanba transform too, that's something he'd never seen before and it dawns on him that Isurugi has so many tricks and powers up his sleeve it puts Utsumi a little on edge.

He knows he's safe though - Isurugi had praised so much lately, had been with him so much lately. He feels confident that as long as Nanba's goals and Isurugi's goals align, there would be no issue too. It makes him gain back some of the composure he'd lost over Rogue losing and Sawa's goodbye even - these little things don't matter when he has the attention of Bloodstark, the true puppet master behind everything. As he changes history so nonchalantly, he starts to breath again and he finally starts to loosen his grip on his tablet.

"It doesn't matter if you win or lose, the more powerful get to decide history," Isurugi had explained then and Utsumi shifts his gaze from the transformed Nanba to the amused Stark and he feels their eyes meet.

There's a sense of connection Utsumi feels as he takes in those words and it feels like the gears in his mind are starting to turn again at double speed.

Later, after Seito annouces themselves as winners publicly, Utsumi looks up at Isurugi straddling him in bed and asks him what his goals are.

Isurugi just smiles down at him as he slowly rides Utsumi's cock in the dim, luxury hotel room but eventually he stops in his movements and leans down to rest his forehead against Utsumi's.

"It's a secret," there's a pause, "but I'll-- Nanba will change this planets history, in ways you can't even imagine."

Utsumi believes his words - he has no reason not to, not anymore.

\---

Somehow, or well, he's not exactly surprised, the sexual advances fron Nanba using Midou's face make him uncomfortable.

To put it bluntly, Utsumi knows Nanba can't get hard without the help of pharmaceutical help - which isn't exactly beyond his capabilities of getting - but for convenience sake in the constantly moving schedule they keep, Nanba seems content just on touching or making comments here and there.

He's taken to getting Utsumi to rub his shoulders lately in the weirdly decorated Seito office Nanba had essentially taken over. As he tries to ease some of the creaks in the older mans shoulders, Nanba whispers to him praise, compliments, asks questions about him and Isurugi that starts to enter invasive territory. He answers back though, but he feels his voice go quiet as he does, feels himself flush as Nanba playfully scolds him for being such a slut.

He wonders then - had he been sent to work for Gentoku for other reasons than just his talents in engineering or just because Gentoku had a type? Ultimately he doesn't matter but something aches inside him at the thought that yet again his talents mean nothing in the larger picture of all this.

Isurugi visits the office with news of changes in plans, promises of the power soon to be in their grasp and behind the mask of Bloodstark, Utsumi feels like he's not looking at Nanba but at him.

\---

The ground shakes as the sky wall starts to shift to create a tower. Utsumi looks upon it and realises there's still so little he understands and for some reason it makes him excited.

Later, when standing by Pandora's Box in the towers main chamber, he watches Isurugi remind Gentoku of the chip installed in him and he tries not to smirk. It had been his idea to start with, one that Bloodstark had agreed to with a short little laugh.

"What a nasty little idea, but useful," Isurugi had commented, raising an eyebrow at Utsumi in the Seito Labs, "would definitely help keep him in his place when needed. You're definitely loving this, aren't you?"

"Loving what? I'm merely doing what's needed for Nanba Inudstries's best interest."

"Utsumi," he draws out the name, something Nariaki has gotten used to and drops his voice to a quiet tone, leaning in closer by his side, "aren't we passed this little game of pretend?"

Utsumi pushes up his glasses with his finger then, turns to look at Bloodstark with a raised eyebrow.

"I'll make two remotes."

Isurugi bursts into laughter.

\---

The plan with Grease had been left up to him. He'd just been instructed to get Grease away from Touto to help with the attack that the Hell Bros and Gentoku would be fronting to kidnap the Touto Prime minister.

He could've done anything for this plan, but he decided to go for something quick and easy and hitting Grease where it hurt most.

Utsumi barely knew Grease or the man named Kazumi but for some reason he felt a grudge against him - maybe it had been the way he'd defeated one of his creations so easily during the matches or maybe it was just Kazumi himself. Maybe, he just resented the way people loved this man, had flocked and laughed with this man, how easily he placed himself by Sento's side like it was nothing. Maybe it was something more simple, that the Sclash driver and Robot Jelly he'd created was now a tool being used against Nanba.

Either way, the prospect of making Grease suffer excited him as he made the phone call from the farm in Hokuto.

He waited then, but the sun slowly set to eventual night and he realised that his plan had failed. He stood in front of the farmers Grease loved and couldn't help but sneer - so much for the power of love and peace, so much for protecting people. It's just how the world is he realises, that the weak get thrown away so easily for some kind of bigger picture or ideal and his shoulder throbs.

He gets angry when the tied up hostages shout back at him. How can they just accept this fate? It's disgusting, and he can't help but laugh - if they want to die so badly he'll let them.

He looks at Gentoku and orders him to kill them.

When he doesn't, first there's panic - Rogue's suit shining in the bright night lights of the farm cuts an intimidating figure walking towards him. He's quick to threaten Gentoku with the remote but as that leaves his hand and he ends up on the floor there's a feeling of helplessness he hasn't felt in a while and he hates it. The smashes are destroyed so quickly, as expected of the Rogue system but then the Rider is walking towards him again and he scrambles back to the remote as quick as possible.

He presses the button on the remote and watches as it forces Gentoku out of his transformation but even with Gentoku already paralysed from the shock, suddenly an anger overcomes him. Utsumi feels himself running and feels the impact of his shoe to Gentoku's cheek and it's satisfying in ways he can't even describe.

Gentoku looks up at him from the ground and Utsumi matches his look of anger from above him. The farm is deathly silent then, just the sound of their breathing in the cold night air. He feels his hand grip the remote tightly, feels his fingers edge the button to shift it's strength and he thinks how easy it would be to just kill Gentoku here and there and tell Isurugi that it couldn't be helped. All of Bloodstarks attention would be his then, it's not like he doesn't know about their little rendezvous in the hotels recently and--

Why doesn't Gentoku just accept his fate as a pawn like Utsumi had done so many months ago? Isn't it only fair?

\---

"Your hazard level has been getting higher, you know," Isurugi tells him, sitting down near Pandora's Box in the main tower chamber. Utsumi had visited to relay some orders from Nanba and in return receive orders from Isurugi as to what their next steps would be.

The observation makes him pause though, makes him furrow his brow. He hadn't checked himself for that in ages, hadn't transformed into Night Rogue in ages that he almost forgot he's not a complete bystander to these systems. He makes a face before Bloodstark can continue however.

"If you imply it's because of Gentoku, I'm leaving."

"Oi, don't be like that," Isurugi grins up at him a little, giving a little flick of his hand, "it's not a bad thing Gentoku is causing it to get higher. Anger is a powerful emotion, jealously and envy too. You'd loved him for a while, didn't you--"

"I had done no such thing," Nariaki quickly cuts in, tone cold and icy and he knows he's giving himself away but it just came out automatically. He pushes his glasses up just out of a need to do something. "I only stayed at his side for the sake of--"

"Nanba Industries, I know, I know," Isurugi laughs, crosses one leg over the other to rest his chin on the palm of his hand balancing on his knee. "There's no one in this room, Utsumi. You don't need to give me that spiel, go on, be honest with yourself for once. I'm basically offering to be your therapist for free you know, it'll be good to take the chance. I hear I'm a great listener."

"I don't need a therapist," Utsumi knows he sounds more indignant than needed but he hates how easily Isurugi hits the core so easily with everyone even him. "I didn't love Gentoku, I just--"

"It was good to be wanted, wasn't it? By someone else."

"I wasn't wanted, I was just a replacement--"

"For Katsuragi."

"No," Utsumi looks away then, looks at the cube that had caused so much change in his life, "Gentoku never loved me, there was no replacing Katsuragi to him. It doesn't matter anymore, you know this better than anyone."

"Do I?"

"You said it yourself, history is going to change, right?" Utsumi walks closer to Isurugi then, stands a few spaces away from the man sitting down. Their eyes meet and Utsumi reaches out, runs a hand through slightly curled hair and it's unusual for him to make the first touch but he's feeling particularly bold all the sudden.

"By your side, Nanba is going to change the world, and I'm going to be there to see it, that's what's important."

"You're not afraid of the unknown? It's human nature to be afraid of an unseeable future, you know. Things aren't always going to go the way you envision it."

"I know that," Utsumi moves in closer and Isurugi wraps an arm around his waist, brings a hand to his thigh to caress the trouser fabric there almost comfortingly, "and I'm prepared for whatever happens."

"I'll keep you to that, Utsumi," Isurugi lets out a quiet little laugh then, "you better not forget that."

\---

He grabs the Evol Driver off the girl and throws it at Isurugi.

There's a lot of thoughts that went through his head as he stared at the driver in his hand and spoke the words he'd grown up saying. Anything for Nanba Industries, the words leave his mouth like a spell but as he throws the driver he wonders if he's only just saying that now.

Deep down he knows he just wanted to see the Evol Driver in action.

As he watches the cosmic power of the Evol Driver at work he feels a shiver of excitement, feels his brain working at full blast to even think about how the system is functioning to such a high capacity and--

The look on Gentoku's face as he holds his dead father in his arms distracts him and he feels the corners of his mouth go up at such a sight.

He wonders if Gentoku knows how captivating he looks in that moment of real despair but it's not like he's ever going to tell him.

\---

"You know what he's planning, don't you?" Nanba asks him out of the blue while Utsumi is pouring his tea for the day. Utsumi doesn't pause in his actions, keeps his pour steady before straightening up, putting the teapot down to the side.

"What makes you say that, sir?"

"You're fucking him, aren't you?"

And Utsumi tries not to react, instead he brings over the matcha cheesecake slice and places it in front of the older man.

"I do not know what he's planning, I would not lie to you, sir," Utsumi replies back steadily and it's not like it's a lie. He doesn't know exactly what the new Rider is planning - exactly is the key word there. He has some ideas on what he could be planning, which is different and honestly he's not quite sure what to think.

All this talk of space, of extra terrestrial lifeforms, of Mars and the name Evolt being spoken around--

They'd just have to wait and see.

"You're the only person I can trust lately," Nanba goes on to say, taking a section from the cheesecake with a fork, "I hope you realise that. I always had high hopes for you, Utsumi, look at how far you've come."

"I'm honoured," Nariaki replies, gives a humble short little bow but he doesn't really feel honoured at all. He just feels nothing.

\---

He doesn't see Evolt for a while and it puts him on edge slightly. He watches then, as Evolt now wearing Banjo's face starts the process of opening Pandora's Box and Nanba next to him panics.

He's quick to react as if automatically, he shouts at him and then he feels pain then nothing at all for a while.

\---

Utsumi wakes up to Fuu slapping his cheek lightly. He looks around as he slowly sits up and notices that the surroundings are just the same as they once were and he wonders why he feels a bit disappointed.

It's good, isn't it? That whatever was going to happen was stopped? That's what Nanba had wanted.

But he's just so curious.

Later, when Evolt visits the office, casually strolling in like he'd done nothing, Utsumi feels angry all the sudden. It comes across as anger on behalf of Nanba but he knows the fire he's feeling is from something else.

Why hadn't Evolt told him anything over these past few days? Why hadn't he been involved? Was he no longer trusted? It unsettles him how quickly fear of becoming obsolete to Evolt comes over him - he'd decided himself that he was no longer going to play the fool to emotional connections like he had before but it's clearly easier said than done.

Evolt placates Nanba easily enough and Utsumi goes quiet.

He gets a call a few hours later and he meets Evolt in the Seito labs and as Evolt leans in for a kiss with Banjo's face, Utsumi puts up his hand between them.

"Not like this," he says and Evolt laughs but pulls away.

"Didn't take you as someone so shallow about looks, Utsumi."

\---

He gets called by Evolt to meet him in the tower and Utsumi goes but he almost drops his tablet when he sees Sento laying across one of the cubes in the room.

Except, it's not Sento. There's the white hair for one, then Evolt's voice greets him and something in his stomach feels tense, feels knotted.

"How's this? Unexpected but it's definitely a look, huh?"

"How did-- Is that really Sento's body?"

"Well, if we want to get technical about it, it's Katsuragi's body, but, yes," and Evolt sticks his tongue out in a similar fashion to Sento and the knot just gets tighter inside him. His feet feel heavy all the sudden and he stands stuck in place, staring at the possessed body of Sento.

"Can you-- Can you read his memories?"

"Oh? And why is that an interest to you?"

"Don't play dumb, you know what I'd want to find out, I'd--"

"Look, Utsumi," there's a little sigh then as Evolt starts to sit back up properly, and the movements are what Utsumi has come to expect from Evolt but seeing Sento's body move the same way is surreal. "You should maybe avoid asking questions you don't want answers to--"

"Tell me."

There's another sigh, and Evolt stands up, walks over to him. The height difference is noticeable, Isurugi's body being roughly the same height but Sento is just a little bit shorter and it's odd. Arms wrap around him none the less and he feels slightly rough hands from working on various inventions over the years caress the nape of his neck before travelling into his hair.

"He never loved you, Utsumi," the words are loud in the quiet chamber, echo even ever so slightly, "but you already knew that, didn't you? It's not like he didn't like you however but--"

"That's, I don't want details, I just--"

And Evolt's grip in his hair goes tighter and Utsumi doesn't stop the other from starting a kiss. He melts into it then, but keeps his eyes as wide as he can - he'd always wondered what Sento would've looked like during a kiss and it feels like Evolt is indulging him. It's not the kiss Utsumi associates with Evolt, it's much more gentle, less messy but he can't tell if this is truly what Sento would've been like or Evolt is just guessing.

For some reason, it doesn't matter.

"This is cruel," he mutters as they finally break the kiss off.

"I consider this more of a charity action."

"I want to fuck him up, I want to do terrible things, I--"

"You can do whatever you want, Utsumi."

And with that, Utsumi pulls Evolt back in for a kiss but he bites at Sento's lips hard enough to draw blood.

He wonders if Sento is watching - he hopes he is.

\---

He stands shivering in the rain and bows his head to Gentoku and it hurts.

It had taken him all his will power to ring the number still in his phone. It had been a request from Nanba and it's hist duty to carry it through - we need his power, Utsumi was told, we're going to go against Evolt. Utsumi had held his tongue then, something scratching inside him to just shout at how stupid of an idea that was, how useless they were against Evolt's full power even with gaining Rogue and the others help.

He doesn't say what he's thinking however but it still takes him the better part of the day and a lot of pacing outside the building before he can bring himself to ring the other. He waits then, and the skies open up and rain descends and he could probably move himself somewhere else but the cold droplets on him feel good for some reason.

It gives him a moment to think clearer than he has been.

Gentoku arrives and he bows and asks him for his help. He can see the life from Gentoku's eyes now dimmed and he looks even more pathetic like a drowned rat from the rain but so does he. He can't help but think about these structures and positions of hierarchy made between them no longer mean anything as the glow of Pandora's tower casts a reflection in the puddles forming around them.

He wonders if they survive all this--

No, they'll survive this.

\---

He explains his plans to Rai and Fuu before they get into the nebula gas chambers and he pulls the leaver.

Rai and Fuu had been a weird existence in his life these past few months he can't help but reflect. He hadn't known them that well at the Nanba Children Institute but he'd seen them, had heard rumours about them. Their unwavering loyalty was truly a prime examples to other students and it amazes Utsumi how far this loyalty had extended.

He wonders if they care that they're clearly pawns in this game, wonders if they find comfort in knowing their place in the world so confidently. He's maybe a little jealous, of seeing them so content with their fate but at the same time he's glad he's not them - he's going to always adapt but he can't see the same happening for these two. Maybe it's a little tragic but it's not exactly the time and place to pity them.

As he watches them writhe in the chambers he thinks back, weeks and weeks ago, of Fuu watching his brother in such a chamber and asking Utsumi if Rai was okay. It had surprised Utsumi then, the first time seeing one of them care for the other openly and he felt at a loss. Where they okay? No, they were unstable and pumped up with unknown gas of alien origin and being used in a game of power but --

He told Fuu that Rai was going to be fine and there was a small gentle smile of relief.

His thoughts get interrupted by Evolt however and he stares at the second Evol Driver longer than he should have and as Evolt leaves he screams into the room.

He wonders if he's shouting at Evolt or himself.

\---

Things go from bad to worse very quickly.

He watches as Rai is killed and it's not like a death he's ever seen before. The power of the Block Hole Trigger is beyond his imagination and he watches as Rai becomes nothing more than particles trapped in the vacuum of a black hole. It's almost beautiful really, seeing the destructive nature of space so close in person, seeing the power that Evolt has displayed so ruthlessly but within his awe there's fear as well.

He hears the clocks ticking and he panics as Fuu is the next to go.

Then Evolt disappears and Utsumi looks down at the tablet that become a feature for most of his life and watches as Evolt kills Jūzaburō Nanba.

In that second time stops for him, he can no longer hear the sound of the clocks or sound of ragged breathing from Gentoku or Katsuragi. He feels numb, like he knows his hands are holding tightly onto the leather casing of his tablet but he can't actually feel it. He can't even pinpoint the emotions he's feeling and he wonders if he's ended up in one of the black holes himself.

Except he hasn't and he hears Evolt's voice calling his name through the speaker and it's comforting almost, that sing song voice he's grown so used to, anchoring him back into reality.

The next thing he knows he's holding Nanba's cane in his hands and he's given a decision and--

The sound and feel of the wood snapping is satisfying as it probably bruises his leg and he pretends he doesn't hear the sound of Gentoku calling his name.

What right does he have to act shocked about this?

As he transforms he hears the sound of Evolt's laughter and he realises he wants to laugh just like that, without a care in the whole damned universe.

\---

He laughs and laughs and laughs and the skies go dark around him standing at the top of Pandora's Tower as Mad Rogue.

He remembers what he told Sento so long ago, backed up against that bridge.

He laughs.


End file.
